Yesterday I was hanging out in Bushwick and went to get a drink from the bodega on the corner. As I walked back, I passed a skinny-ish Rastafarian guy who smiled at me.
Once I'd passed him I heard him say "Miss, you dropped something."
I turned around, looked at the ground, and when I didn't see anything, I looked at him.
He put both hands on the right side of his chest and said, "My heart."
This was actually nice, and made me smile...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Saturday, Greenpoint
I walked past a car overheated and about to get towed.
An middle aged man standing on the sidewalk, near the car, looked at me as I walked past and said:
"That would make me overheat"
An middle aged man standing on the sidewalk, near the car, looked at me as I walked past and said:
"That would make me overheat"
Monday, July 7, 2008
Monday, Grand Street, Williamsburg
Young guy driving a white van:
"i like what I see!" (accompanied by an elaborate hand gesture)
"Can I have your phone number?" (But pronounced, "Can ah have yo' phone numberrr?")
"We could have a good tahhhmm!"
"i like what I see!" (accompanied by an elaborate hand gesture)
"Can I have your phone number?" (But pronounced, "Can ah have yo' phone numberrr?")
"We could have a good tahhhmm!"
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday Night, Savalas
This incident was not in the street but I feel like the fact that I was trapped in an enclosed space with the perpetrators makes it all the better. After drinking a 40, heading to levee convincing everyone to have a shot, drinking a bud light, and heading to Savalas, I get in the line for the bathroom, which is inconveniently in the same place the guys wait. The list of what I had drank should indicate that I was pretty intent on making it to the bathroom quickly. I look up to notice that this guy with dreads by me is pulling up the back of his collar.
“Dolce & Gabbana!”
“What?”
“My shirt! It’s Dolce & Gabbana! I got money!”
“Oh ok. My friend works for them”
Man who “got money” proceeds to sort of nuzzle himself up on me. I slither away.
“You’re pretty. I’d dance with you.”
“Oh but mostly I just want to go in here.”
And I slip into the bathroom and lock the door. Safe at last.
I go to the sink and wash my hands. As I’m drying them another guy comes up by the sink. I presume from the bathroom. Shorter and with no dreads. He cuts right to the chase. I guess if you’re offering lines you think you can skip the pick up lines.
“What’s your name?”
We exchange names and shake hands.
“Ew! I realized I just shook your hand and you hadn’t washed it yet!”
He assures me that he hasn’t been in the bathroom.
“Do you like to party?”
“Why else would I be at Savalas at two in the morning?”
“Oh good point heh heh. Well I got a bump if you want to kick it with me”
I was not expecting this. People in Wisconsin don’t say sentences like that.
“A WHAT?”
“A BUMP!” he yells.
“Oh, no thank you”.
Turn and leave. I probably should have washed my hands again.
I know I was dressed like I was on drugs but I was not prepared to have drugs offered in exchange for my company. I don’t even rent out my conversation by the drink. TomBrian knows.
“Dolce & Gabbana!”
“What?”
“My shirt! It’s Dolce & Gabbana! I got money!”
“Oh ok. My friend works for them”
Man who “got money” proceeds to sort of nuzzle himself up on me. I slither away.
“You’re pretty. I’d dance with you.”
“Oh but mostly I just want to go in here.”
And I slip into the bathroom and lock the door. Safe at last.
I go to the sink and wash my hands. As I’m drying them another guy comes up by the sink. I presume from the bathroom. Shorter and with no dreads. He cuts right to the chase. I guess if you’re offering lines you think you can skip the pick up lines.
“What’s your name?”
We exchange names and shake hands.
“Ew! I realized I just shook your hand and you hadn’t washed it yet!”
He assures me that he hasn’t been in the bathroom.
“Do you like to party?”
“Why else would I be at Savalas at two in the morning?”
“Oh good point heh heh. Well I got a bump if you want to kick it with me”
I was not expecting this. People in Wisconsin don’t say sentences like that.
“A WHAT?”
“A BUMP!” he yells.
“Oh, no thank you”.
Turn and leave. I probably should have washed my hands again.
I know I was dressed like I was on drugs but I was not prepared to have drugs offered in exchange for my company. I don’t even rent out my conversation by the drink. TomBrian knows.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Monday night, Williamsburg
The taxi driver who drove us to our friend's bar: "I would go to hell for beautiful girls like you!"
also i am including this recent (interaction?) in this post:
me, walking down the street: "." (just walking)
approaching male: "How you doin!"
me: still nothing
(i wasn't sure he was even talking to me)
same male: "Oh, I know! I'm unattractive! And BLACK!"
also i am including this recent (interaction?) in this post:
me, walking down the street: "." (just walking)
approaching male: "How you doin!"
me: still nothing
(i wasn't sure he was even talking to me)
same male: "Oh, I know! I'm unattractive! And BLACK!"
Holla if you Swolla!
A couple of weeks ago, my good friend Lynn and I were walking down the street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, near my house. Minding our own business and shooting the *#&^ about life in general, we approached a large group of 20+ youngish men in cheap business suits who were lingering in a disorganized mishmash around the outside of the subway entrance...
As we walked past the bunch, we overheard one of them say, "Whoa- they're both hot."
Then, came the icing on the cake: "Holla if you swolla!"
Lynn and I immediately cracked ourselves up at this verbal ejaculation. Which was probably not the boys' intent, on account of us turning around and pretty blatantly laughing at them. Being intelligent girls, we mused for the rest of the afternoon (we both had the day off) about the varied facets of the phrase. For one, it must be delivered in a ghettofied accent in order for it to rhyme. And over the coming weeks, we have discussed this event with pretty much everyone we know. And during these discussions (very high brow, we know...) many girls have related accounts of amusing pick-up lines- usually delivered in passing, for a reason we cannot figure out... Nobody had heard "Holla if you swolla" before, however- leading us to feel oddly special in a way- and suspect that these jerks may have actually coined the phrase...
And thus, "Holla if you Swolla" (the blog) is born. Think of it as kind of a modern feminist revenge where we have the opportunity to collectively laugh at those who would objectify us...
love, alana.
As we walked past the bunch, we overheard one of them say, "Whoa- they're both hot."
Then, came the icing on the cake: "Holla if you swolla!"
Lynn and I immediately cracked ourselves up at this verbal ejaculation. Which was probably not the boys' intent, on account of us turning around and pretty blatantly laughing at them. Being intelligent girls, we mused for the rest of the afternoon (we both had the day off) about the varied facets of the phrase. For one, it must be delivered in a ghettofied accent in order for it to rhyme. And over the coming weeks, we have discussed this event with pretty much everyone we know. And during these discussions (very high brow, we know...) many girls have related accounts of amusing pick-up lines- usually delivered in passing, for a reason we cannot figure out... Nobody had heard "Holla if you swolla" before, however- leading us to feel oddly special in a way- and suspect that these jerks may have actually coined the phrase...
And thus, "Holla if you Swolla" (the blog) is born. Think of it as kind of a modern feminist revenge where we have the opportunity to collectively laugh at those who would objectify us...
"I like the comfort in knowing that women are generally superior and naturally less violent than men. I like the comfort in knowing that women are the only future in rock and roll."
Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain
love, alana.
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