Saturday Night, Savalas

This incident was not in the street but I feel like the fact that I was trapped in an enclosed space with the perpetrators makes it all the better. After drinking a 40, heading to levee convincing everyone to have a shot, drinking a bud light, and heading to Savalas, I get in the line for the bathroom, which is inconveniently in the same place the guys wait. The list of what I had drank should indicate that I was pretty intent on making it to the bathroom quickly. I look up to notice that this guy with dreads by me is pulling up the back of his collar.

“Dolce & Gabbana!”

“What?”

“My shirt! It’s Dolce & Gabbana! I got money!”

“Oh ok. My friend works for them”

Man who “got money” proceeds to sort of nuzzle himself up on me. I slither away.

“You’re pretty. I’d dance with you.”

“Oh but mostly I just want to go in here.”

And I slip into the bathroom and lock the door. Safe at last.

I go to the sink and wash my hands. As I’m drying them another guy comes up by the sink. I presume from the bathroom. Shorter and with no dreads. He cuts right to the chase. I guess if you’re offering lines you think you can skip the pick up lines.

“What’s your name?”

We exchange names and shake hands.

“Ew! I realized I just shook your hand and you hadn’t washed it yet!”

He assures me that he hasn’t been in the bathroom.

“Do you like to party?”

“Why else would I be at Savalas at two in the morning?”

“Oh good point heh heh. Well I got a bump if you want to kick it with me”

I was not expecting this. People in Wisconsin don’t say sentences like that.

“A WHAT?”

“A BUMP!” he yells.

“Oh, no thank you”.

Turn and leave. I probably should have washed my hands again.

I know I was dressed like I was on drugs but I was not prepared to have drugs offered in exchange for my company. I don’t even rent out my conversation by the drink. TomBrian knows.